I used to have a thing for Oreo cookies. Specifically, Double-Stuf (yes, one F) Oreo cookies. If we didn't make chocolate chip cookie dough, Becca and I used to consume an entire package of the darn things every time one of us slept over. This continued until we were in college. I have probably consumed thousands of Oreos.

My more recent attempts to eliminate factory-processed foods have meant strict self-imposed limitations on my cookie aisle consumption. Naturally, then, you can imagine my sheer delight when I found this recipe. It was time for me to expand my cookie repertoire, and what better way than to recreate my childhood favorite in a way that didn't involve corn syrup?

I made a batch in the middle of December. The dough was thick, almost crumbly. It didn't come together until I smushed it with my hands, and the cookies were a little too thin for their consistency. The full recipe also only yielded 18 three-inch sandwich cookies. But still, after my first taste, I knew I wasn't going to go long without making them again.

For batch #2, which came into being but two weeks later, the dough looked more like cut pie pastry when I followed the recipe. It needed more liquid to hold it together, and I knew the cookies could use a little more heft, so I added another egg. It did the trick for the batter, which was much easier to handle and produced a denser, richer cookie, but...

I suppose it is bad when smoke comes out of the mixer. How was I to know the thing couldn't handle cookie dough the consistency of cement?

So on December 31, 2007, the Oreos killed my mixer, but it was worth the sacrifice, because who ever knew that cement-texture dough could produce cookies this revelatory? They're the cookie Nabisco had in mind, but couldn't deliver. They taste like giggling under a blanket fort, like secrets, like girl talk.

Burghilicious is presently accepting mixer donations. The batch pictured here was for Matthew's birthday.

Homemade Oreos
Mixer-toasting version adapted from Smitten Kitchen,
in turn adapted from Wayne Brachman's Retro Desserts

Makes 18-20 sandwich cookies.

For the cookies:
1 1/4 cups flour
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup sugar
10 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
2 eggs

For the filling:
4 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
4 tablespoons natural, palm-oil based non-hydrogenated shortening*
2 cups powdered sugar, sifted
1 tablespoon vanilla extract

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Line two baking sheets with parchment (seriously, do this).
2. In the bowl of an electric mixer, thoroughly mix flour, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder, salt and sugar. On low speed, add the butter, then the eggs.** Blend or mix until the dough comes together in a mass. In theory, the dough will come together in a mass.
3. Measure rounded teaspoons of batter onto parchment-lined baking sheets. Do actually measure, because otherwise your cookies will be all different sizes, which will make it difficult to pair them into the finished sandwich cookies. Wet your fingers and shape each blob into a ball, then flatten into disks 1/8 - 1/4 inch high and 2 inches across. Be sure to make an even number of cookies. Bake for 9 minutes, then cool on racks.
4. While the cookies are in the oven, mix up the filling. At low speed, combine butter and shortening until well combined. Add the vanilla. Sift in the confectioners' sugar, then beat on high*** for 2-3 minutes until fluffy. Transfer frosting to a pastry bag or zipper baggie (just cut a bottom corner off to fashion a makeshift pastry bag).
5. Now it's time to make the cookies - YAY! Match each cookie to its best possible pair. To make this go quick, lay all the cookies out on your counter, with their mates. Pipe a quarter-sized bit of filling onto one cookie of each pair. Sandwich the cookies and twist to work the filling to the outsides of the cookie.
6. Milk. Lots of milk.

*Can you believe I just wrote that? But that's what you need to avoid hydrogenated oils.
**At this point, your mixer may begin to smoke. You should probably unplug it. Also, that thing about the dough coming into a mass is a theory.
***Using the mixer here requires that you have not fried it in step 2. If necessary, you can use a whisk.