My exclusive sources of sustenance during the Festival were Brueggers breakfast sandwiches, Qdoba grilled vegetable burritos (no rice), the Indian buffet on 5th Street downtown, and plain pasta in the middle of the night. I tell you what... after you get into an eating rut, whether by accident or necessity, it's hard to pull yourself out.

But last weekend, I grabbed my own bootstraps and said, "Listen up, Self. You're getting back in the kitchen and reducing your crap intake by at least half! Now make me some bread!"

There's nothing that says summer quite like sweating your face off as you bake bread for an afternoon in July, right? Well, that's what I would say, except that it was freakishly cool and comfortable here in the 'Burgh last Saturday. If I ever needed an excuse to try brioche, there it was. And brioche, it turns out, is full of lessons.

Lesson 1
Did you know that you can in fact (just about) fit five cups worth of stuff into a 4-cup capacity food processor? I'm not saying you should, I'm just saying... you could try...

It probably would have been safer to make a half-recipe, but the damage was done before I realized the problem. That, and I love to make yeasty stuff in the processor - it zings everything together in about a minute, and then you just toss it in an oven-safe bowl to rise - no kneading necessary.

Lesson 2
Now, why an oven safe bowl, you ask? Because I located the best-ever rising technique hidden in a never-used fast yeast bread recipe in my Bittman. Next time you want to see something rise fast, try this: heat your oven towards 250 degrees F for two minutes. Put your ready-to-proof dough into the warm oven, then turn the heat off and shut the door. It will be mildly toasty in there, so this is especially useful if your kitchen is chilly like mine is, even in the summer. This little trick made for some of the happiest yeast molecules I have seen in quite some time, until...

Lesson 3
The dough didn't rise so well after the initial 2-3 hour period. After rising to astronomical heights in the bowl, and again in the loaf pan and on the stone, the loaf and buns I made did not rise at all once the oven was on for good. This didn't seem to compromise the taste or crumb one tiny bit, but I was still surprised that I did not get that big, poofy brioche loaf I was expecting. Anyone have an idea why this was?


Lesson 4
Brioche is yummy, so get over it! Scheidt and I used the brioche for a heavenly breakfast of French toast, Pamela's style.* It's equally good under your eggs. Honestly, just smear some jam on there - there's so much butter in the bread, you don't even miss having it on top. I also made little brioche buns that made some pretty good slider buns (a little crumbly, but we'll let it pass).

Bittman's Brioche
From How to Cook Everything
Foibles by Burghilicious

1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons milk, divided
1/3 cup water
1 packet instant yeast
4 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup sugar
8 tablespoons cold butter, cut into chunks, plus more for greasing the bowl and pans
3 eggs
1 egg yolk

Gently heat milk and water in a small saucepan or in microwave, then add the yeast. In a 6 cup food processor** fitted with the steel blade, combine flour, salt and sugar for 5 seconds. Add the cold butter and whole eggs and process for 10 seconds. With the machine running, pour (don't drizzle) the milk-water-yeast mixture through the feed tube and process for about 30 seconds until the dough resembles a thick, sticky batter. If it is too dry, add water 1 tablespoon at a time and process 5-10 seconds more. It's practically impossible for it to be too wet.

Heat the oven for two minutes, then turn it off. Grease a large ceramic or metal bowl with softened butter. Scrape the dough into the bowl and cover. Let rise in the warm oven (or some other warm, dry place) until at least doubled in bulk, 2-3 hours.

Once the dough has risen, shape it into 2 loaves*** using just enough flour to enable you to handle the dough. Place each loaf in a buttered 9"x5" loaf pan. Cover and let rise again.

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Mix the egg yolk and 2 tablespoons milk, then brush the mixture over the loaves. Bake about 30 minutes or until nicely browned. When done, the bottom of the loaves will sound hollow when tapped and should fall easily from the pan.